A friend of mine refers to the first rays of New Years Day as “the cold hard light of January,” a cheery aphorism connoting the rude awakening to the previous night’s ambitious resolutions: shedding those added holiday pounds; getting ahead of that persistent procrastination; being a better, kinder you. My cold hard light of January was reflected from the cold hard pavement of I-45 as I drove from Dallas to Houston to attend a friend’s wedding. It’s been a long time since I’ve spent four hours in solitude. Four hours with nothing to do but think …and drive. The day before, I’d seen my bi-polar mother for the first time in over a year, a short visit which had left me much to reflect upon. Instead, my mind drifted. I welcomed its denial.
For the next four hours, I revisited the blur of 2009 which sped by with a flurry of entrepreneurial vigor, clearing the way for an even more vigorous 2010. This year in review left me feeling simultaneously exhausted and exhilarated—bi-polar, so to speak. As Houston rose from the horizon, my mind drifted back to the memory of my mother struggling against the darkness. I pray the cold hard light of January is cast upon her.